What they don't tell you about motherhood- when you're prepping to be a mom, is that you shouldn't be out buying all of the most expensive gadgetry, and picking out cute little outfits to "get ready" for the baby, you should be prepping by practicing making a bottle with one hand, sleep training yourself to survive off of only a few precious hours of sleep a night, start taking showers only every 4 days & have someone screaming their head off outside of your curtain the entire time.
Truth be told you never appreciate your own mom more than the exact moment she offers to take your kids for you so you can enjoy a weekend vacation with just grown ups.
Last night I was walking my kids home from the park and my 8 yr old was continually pushing the stroller with my son in it into the street and letting go after being told not to several times. Eventually, I snapped. "Payten why don't you listen?!? How many times do I have to tell you?!? Do you want your brother hit by a car?!? Give me the stroller back, you're not responsible enough." And then I turned the corner & saw them. People. Grown ups. They gave me a sheepish smile as if they understood, but I saw right through it. Into their eyes. Their judging eyes. And I heard myself from a strangers point of view for the first time. Ew. How ugly. Is that who I have become? The lady that snaps at her children for trying to help? The mean lady with the condescending tone?
And it's not just them, I do it too. I've seen the mom at the grocery that counts to 3 ten times & I think... Maybe if you would stop giving so many chances, your kid would actually listen to you. I've seen chubby kids eating candy and thought, wow you really need to pull back on the sugar lady. I've even gone as far as to discuss it, "can you even believe he's still not potty trained?" Or "Seriously she still has her binky?!" Or "can't believe they let their kid watch that movie!" The very thing that would hurt me the most; to be judged as a parent, is the thing that I myself still do.
Being a parent is the best thing ever. And the hardest thing ever. And the most exhausting thing ever. And the most rewarding thing ever. It's all of those things and so much more. Why are we so hard on ourselves and more importantly- on each other? Aren't we all just kind of winging it? Making up the rules as we go along. We should be high fiving one another every chance we get. Helping the Mom at the grocery store when clearly she's just trying to get out of there before the crap hits the fan. Hugging the mom who has been trying to potty train her kid for years now. Praying for circumstances and strength and patience. (I know, I know, you're not supposed to pray for patience, just put it on the list of things I do incorrectly.)
Let's remember we are all on this roller coaster of parenting together and be the village. I'll call you Tuesday when Asher is having a meltdown because I didn't get all of the white peel off of his orange good enough & you can bring over a bottle of rum. In return, I promise to not make a big deal out of it when your kid pukes on my carpet because you forgot to mention their lactose intolerance.
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