Mommy Brain

First of all let me just say that I never wake up and think, 'Oh yay, I get to start another day!' I wish I were that person. But instead...I wake up and think 'coffee… coffee… coffee… coffee… coffee.' And that is enough to get my feet going. I come downstairs, I drink my coffee, and I start out with my very long daily to do list. You see, if I don't write it down, I will forget completely to do it. Some things are more important than others and so I prioritize them in that way. Often I start my list out with showering, because if I leave it to the end, I might not get to it in in a days time and I will smell like moldy cheese. (I know this from experience.) I put the most mundane things on that list. Any and everything I can think of that needs to be done. Such as, bring up paper towels from the basement, feed the kids lunch, pick up Payten from school, mop the floor, workout, etc.. Sometimes I even have on the list to make another list. (i.e. make grocery list, or diaper bag check list) The list is long but it keeps me from feeling overwhelmed and just walking around the house in circles wondering what it was I was supposed to be doing. You see my brain just pretty much is consistently on repeat. Questions like…Where did I put my phone? Why was I going in this room again? What's that doing over there? Distraction is everywhere here. The voices don’t help the matter either. The voices (also known as children): Have you seen my phone? Can I go in Katie’s back yard? Where are the snacks? The voices are so easy and yet so difficult to drown out. The voices are who I blame for the complete and utter lack of focus going on up there. So anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yea, I make my list first while I drink my coffee. Every now and then I even check my facebook or watch a little bit of the tele but most of the time my 15 minutes of peace are interrupted by the voices. Again, this is where your list comes in handy. “Mooooom, have you seen my library book?” I’m armed and ready, “Sorry chickadee, I’m…(*checks list) loading the dishwasher, you’ll have to find it yourself!” I go through my entire day like this. Drop the kids off at school. Check. Feed the babies breakfast. Check. I get on a roll and pretty soon I’m adding things to the list I did in between items just so that I can mark them off and stand back at the end of the day and look at my list, sitting there in all it’s glory. This list is what makes me a work at home mom. I didn’t sit one time today. Look at everything I accomplished! I didn’t watch t.v. I didn’t have any adult conversation. I didn’t go out to lunch. I shoved a few pretzels in my mouth while I simultaneously gave a kid a bath. There’s nothing glamorous about it. I’m usually covered in spit up, I LIVE in my work out clothes, and I’ve become rather fond of my pony tail, but hey…this is my life. So now that you have a pretty good mental picture, this afternoon I'm sitting on the floor doing yoga. (because being a super mom isn’t enough pressure all on it’s own, I need to also obsess over my I-just-had-a-baby-10-months-ago-and-still-look-pregnant body.) I look down and I'm completely covered with dog hair. Gabby has it in her mouth and Asher (who happens to be wearing black) looks like he’s wearing a sweater. Nasty. Who can do yoga at a time like this?? I have to vacuum! So I pause the yoga, get up, and go get the 400 lb Kirby. I run it throughout the entire house all the while Asher is trying to tackle it, lunging at it exuberantly as if it’s a new puppy that he must get his hands on. He diligently tries wrapping himself up in the cord, while Gabby takes her turn gnawing on it. I’m vacuuming away, trying to save their little ungrateful lives. Finally finished and sweating, I wrap the cord up and put it away. I go back to the floor, trying to continue my yoga, and realize the floor is still absolutely freaking disgusting. So I pull it out again, unravel the cord, and realize the effing thing wasn't even in the drive position the entire time. As it turns out, if it’s not in drive, it doesn’t vacuum. So I wash, rinse, repeat, the whole shebang all over again. This is when I realize another hour has passed and kids have not yet been fed. Oh crap! No wonder they are being such brats! (The old me would never refer to my kids as brats though, only trashy people do that!) So I begin to cook lunch for them and realize I’ve completely forgotten about my list. As SOON as I’m done feeding them, I’m going back to my list. The dogs start barking. Yes! The mail is here! Now that I’m home all day I live for these little stupid things. OH shit, what is this bill??! I rush through feeding the kids so I can further investigate the bill that I obviously do not feel is warranted. What feels like 15 seconds later, I realize I have forgotten to pick up the kids from school. I rush the babies into the car, and get to the school by the skin of my teeth. When we get back the voices want things. “Where are the popsicles? Can I eat this in the living room? Luca isn’t being nice to me!” My husband comes home and I’m sitting there in my dog hair covered yoga pants. There are fruit loops on Asher’s shirt, lunch strewn about the kitchen, and Gabby is in the corner chewing on a flip flop. This is when I realize the yoga still paused on the television. Do you see how his perception of me (a.k.a. super mom) is altered by things completely out of my control here? I was doing so well staying on task until one thing led to another and well… here I am. Mommy Brain is an epidemic people. No no.. a pandemic. Mommy Brain is a pandemic people… we must find a way to beat it. If you have a way to beat it other than the list, please… share the secret with me would ya? Meanwhile.. Ginko biloba anyone?