Mommy Parties

It just occurred to me that I have about 400 invitations in my inbox for different Mommy parties.
I figured I would take the time now to explain why I will not be in attendance to any of them. It'll be a 400 birds, 1 stone, kind of answer.

First I will say how incredibly sorry I am for always ignoring you. I am extremely avoidant. I hate confrontation, I hate disappointing people and I hate telling people no.  Classy people have this ability; I do not. I'm a people pleaser. And not a very good one either.  Which really just about sums it up.

Secondly, I will explain that I am NOT not going to the party because I do not like you. It has nothing to do with you. In fact the nosiness in me wants to go. I want to see who your friends are. I want to see what your home looks like. I want to be your friend outside of Facebook.

However... I'm just not into the whole scenario. Me and a bunch of other ladies I don't know gathered in a room forced to make small talk and oooh and ahhh over highly priced shit that if we really wanted to buy we would find online and buy. The only reason we're buying it here and now is because a) guilt or b) it's a pure romance party. And I really don't think those reasons need to be explained.

So again, I'm sorry I won't be going to your Oragami Owl, Scentsy, Usbourne Books, Wrap it, Mary Kay, Pampered Chef, Tupperware party. If someone suddenly ups and changes the rules to pants being optional at these things- then let me know.  In the meanwhile, please stop giving my phone number out to your party planners. It leaves me in a very vulnerable and uncomfortable position. Similar to the time my creepy uncle asked me to wax his back. *full body shivers.

I hope you understand- Thank you!