So let me tell you a story about how things quickly can go from bad to worse. The two one yr olds and my 7 yr old were outside running in the sprinkler. I had put sunscreen all over the kids of course, and we were only out there for about an hour. I did not put diapers on them, I just put them in there swimwear because we were just going to be in the backyard playing and I did not want to waste a swim diaper. I spent the day walking around the backyard picking up dog poop in my bikini. I was praying to God the entire time that nobody would randomly just stop by. As if daunting a bikini is not scary enough, my belly is pastey white compared to the rest of my body, hence wanting to wear it in the backyard before going out publicly. And nothing like 90 degree weather to make the dog poop smell exceptionally wonderful. Nonetheless, I was outside anyway and it needed done, as well as the weeding of the garden and general picking up. Meanwhile, the kids were having a great time. Lots of laughter and smiles. Eventually though, Gabby was ready to come in. This was about the time that I realize Asher dropped a massive load in the back of his swim trunks. Could he just not go in that exact hour? I strip him down and hose him off in the backyard. Nothing more classier than hosing the poop off your sons balls in the backyard. Luckily, he took the freezing cold water in between his cheeks pretty well. Just ignore the big ol turd in the yard. We go inside and they are covered in grass, dirt and sunscreen so I decide to go ahead and throw them in the tub. I get the shampoo in their hair, Gabby is standing up refusing to sit down, and she decides to pull the pin that turns the shower on. The shower turns on and gets the shampoo in her eyes immediately. It is not baby shampoo because I am out, so it burns like the dickens. I know this from experience. She is screaming and while trying to console her, I have Lil Bit get her a washcloth to cover her eyes and then I lay her down in the water to wash the rest of the shampoo out of her hair. She is screaming the entire time and I feel terrible as I am holding her down in the water against her will. As if the burning in her eyes is not enough, she hates to lay down in the tub, but it was the fastest way and I wanted to get her out quickly. At this point, I'm sweating bullets because its 82 degrees in my house and I'm stressing the f out. Asher still needs out of the tub and Payten takes this of all time to continually ask me if she can get in the tub and negotiate all of the reasons she needs to. Mind you, THiS is is what Gabby looked like right after. I know.... I know...looks bad right? Maybe she's allergic to head n shoulders. Or maybe, just maybe, I was a little over confident today. I didn't look much better myself. Now before everyone goes and calls Children's Services, I want you to know, she looked good as new about 20 minutes later. And, she had really, really, clean hair.
